There once was a Kitten called Mittens,
with a paw at the end of each leg;
She lived in the land of the Britons,
and believed she came out of an egg.
She would fluff up her fine furry feathers,
and jump off from the top of the stairs;
then she’d tumble and land on her nethers
till some cat licked her clean for her cares.
This cat had once claimed to be ‘mother’,
but she clearly laid eggs not at all;
she had even produced her a brother,
who more often than not broke her fall.
When she asked why the cat didn’t eat her -
for surely a feline eats birds?
Her mother declared her a cheetah,
and told her to swallow her words.