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Assonant Animals

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Osama the Llama

Click to hear (.mp3)


Osama the Llama said : “Hey! It’s a name!
And millions of creatures are called just the same!
If I were a camel, I’d say you’d a case,
but since I’m a llama, your view’s a disgrace!
So cut me some slack, and admit I’m no mule,
or Arabian stallion, or anyone’s fool.
I’m for Incas, not stinkers with bombs on their butt,
or an ass-load of armaments stuck round their gut.
So see past my name, and you’ll know I’m no camel;
The most we’ve in common is being a mammal!
Yes, sensitive, aren’t I? I’m proud of my name!
‘Banana-Ear Llama’ would sound really lame!”

“Doubloon the Vicuña lives high in the Andes,
and Mark the Alpaca’s a sheep made for dandies,
while Juan the Guanaco’s thick skinned in the neck,
and at one time ran riot and quite without check;
half a billion Guanacos was many too many -
and as for Alpacas, there wouldn’t be any
if folks didn’t breed them for wool, and for meat!
It’s the llamas to carry, Alpacas to eat!
Vicuñas - aw heck! It’s three years between shearings,
they’d all be wiped out without government hearings.
I gave you the hump? I’m no camel, I’m llama!
And why should I owe you to act like a charmer?”

This assonant animal suggested by Alana


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